Thursday, May 16, 2013
Twenty-second -
It's been some time. I decided to drop by at a place I know no one will prolly chance upon. My blogs were all long forgotten, but I'd still prefer to blog in an open blog that no one knows about rather than a closed blog that no one knows about. It just somehow makes me feel better this way.
I have been blogging a bit here and there between my main blog and livejournal. Livejournal posts are all mainly on my relationship issues while blogger is mainly on my life and small updates etc. I chanced upon this space today at 5 in the morning because I found out my boyfriend lied to me. I have no idea how many times he did this, and honestly, I don't wish to know the number very much. I'm utterly disappointed in him. He never ever learns his lessons neither does he learn to appreciate the things and people around him. I got hurt frequently by him a lot, mentally and he is also aware of it, but he doesn't do anything to stop.
Almost every night I ask myself why I am staying with him and not breaking up with him when I can find someone else better to be in the position he is in my life now, but I can never seem to get an answer. Maybe that's the power of love? Hah. Sounds mushy but hey, it's true. If not, kindly explain to me why I can't seem to give up on him? And why my heart constantly put hopes on him changing for the better? My faith dropped quite bit here and there, but it never stopped. I honestly feel that one day, he will really come to his senses and change. But oh well, it's probably just faith telling me so. There are times I get really angry at myself for forgiving him too easily. Like now, I think I've already forgave him for lying. I feel like such a weakling. Forgiving so easily... And right now, I feel extremely broken.
I'm still such a girl...
Posted by Ivylee ♫ @ 05:02
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"No matter how organized we are, there will always be only 24 hours in a day. Time doesn't change.
All we can actually manage is ourselves and what we do with the time we have."
Because of you, I've learnt to be better and smarter.
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Ivylee, 16Y
Unity Flute
(L) George, Music.
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